Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Mystery Rash and Self Diagnoses

I woke up with this:

It's like Asian glow or sunburn, but I aint been drinkin and there aint been no sun

It's probably not as apparent, but it feels like my whole face got sunburnt and I have no clear idea why!

It all started last night, when I was hanging out eating peanuts.  I felt behind my ear was kinda dry, scaly.  But I was like meh, it must be the heater or something.  Before I went to bed, I looked in the mirror and noticed my face was kind of bumpy.

I thought, "Hmm. I must be getting older now".. "I guess this is it..it's all downhill from here"..."Oh well, I had a good run" 

I was excited to go to sleep, because I was sick for the past few days and I swear in the morning I'd be 100% again!

But then I woke up feeling groggy as hell, must have not had enough sleep.  Showered, and when I was drying myself off, my face was burning!  I look at the mirror and my face was dry, swollen, and rashy. "damn boyy you ashy!"  How did this happen?

You ever self-diagnose online?

1.  Vitamin C Overdose:  First thing that popped in my mind.  I've been taking EmergenC twice a day to fight this sorethroat/cold for about 3 days now.  Googly-goo showed me this: http://www.fitness-equipment-health.com/vitamin_c_overdose.html  "Some test subjects even developed a skin rash in reaction to the high dose of vitamin C."  That may be it!


2. Ancient Age Bourbon dehydration:  I was being silly, and took many shots of the wonderful $9.99 whiskey on Saturday night.  I was feeling better, so I decided to celebrate with the cousins and go all out that night.  It was well worth it though.  I found out 2 things about Portland.  Portland emo girls will smile and reply Good Evening, when you greet Good Evening as you drunkenly pass by them.  Portland girls love to bring their moms to clubs (or vice versa).  Pretty annoying to be C-blocked by someones mom.. Cmon!


3. Peanuts Sodium Imbalance/Allergy:  Cousin is pretty adamant about this one, because he saw me feverishly going through a bag of very flavorful (and salty.. and therefore addictive) peanuts.  Plus: recent news about frat kid seizures from drinking a bottle of soy sauce (bloop).  I'll take face rash over seizures any day. 


4.  Heater drying out my skin: Past few days, I didnt realize my thermostat was auto-setting itself to 62.  So I've been sleeping in the cold.  Once I've set it to a toasty 70, tomato face happens. 


5. Favorite Asian excuse.  My aunt and uncle say it's YEET HAY (热气) of course.  Chinese version of dehydration.  Except, they were damned sure that beer cures YEET HAY.  I knew it'd make it worse, but I humored them and had some beer with them during dinner.  Guess what.. my face swells up even more!


6.  Too much hydration? Heh I usually don't drink water throughout the day, and I've been drinking ALOT of water recently on my standards.  Maybe... just MAYBE my body has adapted to live in the desert, and this H2O overload has shocked my system.  Yeah! that must be it.


So I'm going to stop taking vitamin C, drink a little water, and hope I dont wake up looking like this


3 comments:

Cora L. said...

My mom says yeet hay, and I have no idea how to translate it. I don't think she does either.. LOL

But yeah, you totally need some snakewine man. Go ask your uncles!

Cora L. said...

PS, Andy told me to NEVER self-diagnosis myself via internet. And he was right. I NEVER get the correct ailment!

Casimir said...

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html