The Six Armed Blog and Legend of Evil Flav

Hey readers, I've joined a joint blog recently called "The Six Armed Blog"

I have no idea what direction this blog is taking, but I submitted a short story that inspired the title of the blog.  haha it actually started when someone asked me to tell him a bedtime story.

Here's an excerpt:
"There was once a strange little boy from a distant town called Erie.  Oh, it was a simple town with normal families, normal festivities, and a normal lumber mill that everyone worked at.  But this boy was strange, he was different.  He was quite a bit taller than the other kids, his shoulders were a little bit lopsided, and he never smiled.  The kids teased him, adults looked the other way.  It was a gloomy life for him in the town of Erie. Thus, he never smiled.

And also.... he had SIX ARMS."

Click here to read the rest! thanks

Covert Letter

 This pic's dedicated to my fellow bloggers: Cora and Thunderlips

 
So I was looking up job postings today, and I noticed that there was this swell feller next to me with a red beanie.  I asked him is name: "Caz with a Z", he said.  He looked like an educated soul, so I asked if he would write my cover letter for me:

Dear Hiring Manager,

From the time of my birth some twenty-four years ago, it has been a dream built into the very code of my deoxyribonucleic acid to become an NX CAM Engineer.  As I grew from ovum to fetus and on to the natural breathing world, one thought emerged as a domineering guide in my future fate: "Be the best NX CAM Engineer in the world."  My parents, each Chinese rice farmers, instilled in me the necessary themes of our ancient ancestry: the Ninja arts of the Samurai, which read that one must be self-disciplined, stoic and great at NX CAM Engineering.  I have, in every breath and step I have taken in this life, lived to make true on the promise I made my dying mother as I fled my homeland.  As the cancer from the toxic sewage that Wal-Mart had dumped in our paddy-field ate away at her brain from the inside out, I told her, "I move America.  Become big star.  Make much money.  Bang hot America girl.  And I will become the greatest NX CAM Engineer that the world has ever seen before!"  My English has since improved, but my motivations and my desires have remained as steadfast as the migrant workers on whose backs the Chinese economy today grows.

Thank you for your consideration,

Lick McWick

The goal is to stand out right? I hope I get it!  Thanks Caz with a Z 

Railed in the Tunnel like a 400ft Train!

Hey everyone this is Chun Lick's co-contributor to WickyPedia, DillON. So I went to an interview today for the first time after job hunting exhaustively for the past month and a half. I'm excited as hell, and I'm literally ready to suck dick for a job. And when I get there I get a quick 5 minute one on one interview and then the dude goes oh hey, are you okay with a group interview that'll go for about 30 minutes. I think sure I need this job I need the money I'm two steps away from learning how to grow cocaine so I could finally buy a new razor blade for my 4 year old razor.

We get into a room and there are 7 other people in this group interview and I'm thinking Ahh shit this is going to be a ride. The first part was that everyone had to take turns answering questions and second people were almost answering the same way as the previous person, so similiar that it sounded like this.

"Oh yeah I use to be uber involved in student council, Fuck Ya!"
"Oh yeah I held the treasury position for student council, Yippee"

I tried to sit through it because I wanted a job but in the end it was too annoying, we had that one person who would talk to much, the few guys who probably applied for the wrong job and than the overdressed schmuck who probably thought he was over-qualified for the position, ME.

All in all I couldn't sit through the whole thing and got up during the middle of the group interview.

That's life for you.

Interview Scare

hahHAH

12:20PM bi-bi-bi-beeep BI-BI-BI-BEEP: Holy shit, I was supposed to wake up early for my interview.  Good thing it's at 2, I can still make it.

1:10PM: Check the mirror to make sure I'm baller.  Damn my dress shoes are still in my car, so I go to my trunk and change shoes.  *SLAM* FUUUUUUUUUCK, out of rushing I lock my keys in the trunk.  Spares are in the house, and no one is home.  I'm panicking as all hell but at least I look good. 

Damn I rarely lock my keys in, and this has got to be the worst time.  It takes almost half an hour to get DT and im screwd.  I almost call my friend who got me the interview to reschedule.  Good thing my mom was having Dim Sum near by.  Good thing she knows how to drive like a Taxi driver.  Where would I be without my mama? She's awesome. 

I arrive at 1:57pm, adrenaline pumping, which is horrible for an interview.  I imagine rambling on tangents while the interviewere nods his head with frowed brows.
But it turns out, my friend was accompanying me on this interview, and we're all going to Ctown to get some Zhongs during the interview.  Chillest interview ever!  I end up talking with the guy for two hours, so I think I have a good chance.  Thanks to my buddy "Arnold Kworscheneggar"

Wish me luck guys.

Snowboarding and Terje

Sitting in a library, I get a text to update this thang.  This'll be a good change from writing cover letters all day.  To my readers: "Thank you for your time and consideration, I hope to speak with you soon."

It's been sick living in Portland being only 1.5 hours away from the slopes.  I feel like going every weekend, and this $99 season night pass is letting me do it.  If only I had the money for snow tires.  And if only gas prices hadn't hit 4 bucks. 

I'm working on my speed now and going down steeper slopes, but it's hard when you got the fear!  The last time I went, I caught an edge going so fast I swear I flipped over twice.  But good thing I haven't been doing the "split the sphincter" fall lately.  That is an ungodly hell of pain that can't be explained.  Anyways, to psyche myself up for my snow trips, I've been watching Terje Haakonsen ChuckJesusNorris abusing (sexually) the steepest snow slopes I've seen a human ever attempt.

Sadly, the video is so epic I can't embed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akmC6hIC8zE

The dude is a legend, I don't know of anybody with bigger, brasser, bronzer, balls than he does.  The first part is nearly freefall!  and on the rest of the face of the mountain, he's just chillin, doin jumps like it's nothing.  Just watch the video.